I was very saddened at the news about Aqsa Parvez. I thought about how very vulnerable 16 year old girls can be, especially when they resist their parents, when they try to run away from fathers who frighten them.
You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned words like “culture clash” yet. Instead I want to speak of power and control, and abuse and violence against women and children. Because that is what this is really about.
Children and parents clash all the time about all sorts of issues. Most negotiate, get frustrated even, some yell. And then some choose control, abuse and violence. Culture clashes don’t cause deaths. Abuse and violence do.
The media has been using terms like “traditional” vs “modern” to describe Aqsa’s choices. But this dichotomy is a false one. Perhaps a better description would be “non-dominant” vs. “dominant” choices for this culture. Is a hijab really “traditional” and an uncovered head “modern”? By whose standards?
The hijab has turned out to be this society’s embodiment of fear of difference. Not so long ago it was the Sikh turban.
I do believe that girls (and boys) should be able to make informed choices about what they wear, what they believe, and which religious practices to follow. Especially teens, who are in the process of finding their own places within their families and their societies.
May Aqsa rest in peace. May abuse finally end. May fathers stop murdering their girls.